What does in lieu of flowers mean?

It means instead of flowers. The family is gently letting people know they would prefer a donation to a chosen cause, or another gesture, rather than sending flowers. It is a request, not a rule, and people are still free to send flowers if they wish.

How do you word in lieu of flowers?

Keep it short and warm. A common form is: In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [cause]. You can add a reason, like a charity connected to how they died or a cause they loved, but you do not have to.

Is it rude to say in lieu of flowers?

No. It is widely understood and often appreciated, because it tells people how to help in a way that mattered to the person. Phrasing it as a gentle request rather than a demand keeps it warm.

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June 11, 20265 min read

In Lieu of Flowers: What to Say (With Examples)

More and more families ask for donations instead of flowers, and it makes sense. Flowers fade in a week, while a gift to a cause the person cared about lasts. But people often freeze on how to say it without sounding ungrateful or like they are asking for money. It is simpler than it feels. Here is what the phrase means and how to word it kindly.

What it means

In lieu of flowers simply means instead of flowers. It is a gentle note to mourners that, if they would like to do something, the family would prefer a donation, or another gesture, over a floral arrangement. It is always a request, never a rule. Anyone who still wishes to send flowers is free to.

How to word it

Short and warm works best. Any of these can go in an obituary, a funeral notice, or an announcement:

Simple

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [organization].

With a reason

In lieu of flowers, and in keeping with Dad's lifelong love of the outdoors, donations may be made to [land trust or park].

Leaving it open

The family kindly requests no flowers. If you wish to honor Maria, please consider a donation to a cause close to your own heart, or simply share a memory of her with us.

Choosing where donations go

A cause they cared about, or volunteered or worked for.
A charity connected to how they died, like a disease research or hospice foundation.
A local institution they loved: a library, a church, a school, an animal shelter.
A memorial fund, if you are raising money for a scholarship, a bench, or the family's own needs.

Include the organization's name and, if you can, a direct way to give, so people do not have to hunt for it in a hard week.

If you are the one giving instead of flowers

When a family asks for donations, honor the request, and consider telling them you did, simply: I made a gift to [cause] in [name]'s memory. It means a great deal to know their wish was followed. And if you want to do something more personal, a donation paired with a short note or a shared memory is one of the kindest things you can offer. A memory often lasts longer in a grieving family's hands than any flowers would have.

Common questions

What does in lieu of flowers mean?: It means instead of flowers. The family is gently letting people know they would prefer a donation to a chosen cause, or another gesture, rather than sending flowers. It is a request, not a rule, and people are still free to send flowers if they wish.
How do you word in lieu of flowers?: Keep it short and warm. A common form is: In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [cause]. You can add a reason, like a charity connected to how they died or a cause they loved, but you do not have to.
Is it rude to say in lieu of flowers?: No. It is widely understood and often appreciated, because it tells people how to help in a way that mattered to the person. Phrasing it as a gentle request rather than a demand keeps it warm.